I dropped your big sister at school and headed home to relax and focus on what was to come... your inducement later that day. Instead, we ended up having to run around and finalize house project tasks. I was pretty stressed when Sara knocked at the door. She gave me an empowering " you are strong woman" pep talk, a bunch of goodies, and some much needed company. I felt way better heading off to the appointment. Around 5:30 that afternoon, I again received the Foley balloon. This time things worked slowly. I had a few contractions during a night time walk with Mandi but nothing I couldn't walk through. They became more regular around 9:30 pm, lasting about 45 seconds every 10 minutes. Then they tapered. I was able to sleep some that night, only waking for a crampy contraction on the hour.
February 5th 2015
At 5:30 am, Clara woke up to see us off. We headed to the hospital in darkness. The drive was a bit surreal, knowing what was ahead. The nurse met me in the delivery room. She was wonderful, competent, kind, reassuring. Everything you want during such a vulnerable time. She started me on pitocin about 7:30 am. I was completely zen, laughing and joking and excited. As more pitocin entered my bloodstream, the light mood slowly changed to a serious focus. Contractions became more intense but manageable. Then the foley balloon came out, which typically means you reach about 3-4 cm. I was at 6, without too much work. Things felt great. Then about an hour later, my body kicked into active labor. Contractions required complete concentration and towards the end, overwhelmed me. I gave into an epidural at 8 cm, after being told transition could last for 5 more hours. Everything changed after that anesthesia! I started enjoying the process. What an extreme contrast from excruciating, debilitating pain to pure joy and excitement. 1 hour after the epidural, I was ready to push! It was surreal. The doctor checked me and then asked, "are you ready to deliver this baby, I see her head!" I immediately began crying (as my last labor took 19 more hours after I reached 8 cm for a total of 29 hours!), looking at Mandi for reassurance, and saying, are you serious, are you serious? The doctor anticlimactically turned to put on her head cap and told me to push. 2.5 pushes later, Marlo Rose sat on my chest. She was perfect from the beginning. 7lbs 12 oz and 19.75 inches. So long. She had a dimple on her right cheek, long fingers and toes!, less hair than Clara, her dad's nose, and a sweet cry. She has been nothing but peaceful and sweet since.
The only issue we had at the hospital was the 2nd night. Apparently she swallowed a bunch of amniotic fluid which got in her stomach, making eating painful. She was constantly spitting up and choking so they pumped it out. After that, she's been an angel. I keep waiting for the ball to drop, because Clara was such a hard baby. We are on day 5 and so far, Marlo sleeps and poops and seems to tolerate my milk well and when she wakes, she's peaceful. I keep pinching myself. Then I sit and bask in the greatness of it all, knowing how short and fleeting this time will be.
Every moment of bliss is followed by thoughts of my mom. She wanted to be here so badly. Even when she knew she had a short time left, she was hopeful she could meet you. Sadly it makes this time harder. She would love you. I know she would sit and rock you and never let you go. For hours. That's how she was with Clara, Rell, me, and Mandi. She would do everyting to make our lives easier while getting in as much baby time as she possibly could. It's what she lived for. She is the perfect grandmother. Someone I desperately wish you could grow up with. I find myself trying to text her every funny, worrisome, and wonderful thing you do. I know she has a hand in all this. From my birth experience, to the recovery process, to your sweet disposition. The nurse said that our day was full of 2's and 5's. The date (2/5/15), the room number (215), the nurses line (2552). My mom's birth date was 5/2/55. She is here with me and living on in Clara, you, and Rell. You have her cheeks! She was here when I found out I was pregnant, she was able to learn Marlo was a girl, and she even loved the name we chose. I am forever grateful we shared those experiences.
When I think about my new family, my heart fills with pure joy. Something I haven't felt in a long time and appreciate deeply after such a trying year. I am full of gratitude and love. A place I was desperate to be before she entered the world. I keep saying, thank you out loud. Thank you, mom.
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| The necklace my mom gave her. My mom told the girls every time you see a pink rose, think of me. Marlo Rose. |
